I'm not even sure why I am writing this. I guess it comes from many many stories that I hear from men who keep mistresses. As a good friend, they feel comfortable listing down their complaints about the wife, about the mistress, over a bottle of Black Label. In due time, I formed my own conclusions regarding this very elusive and enigmatic affairs.
Rule #1 He will never leave his wife. So please, stop wishing and hoping that it will happen. If his wife dies, you also won't wish to be his wife because that means he will get another mistress to replace you. Prince Charles is a rarity and more of an exception than the rule.
Rule #2 You can forget about the special holidays like Christmas day, Valentine's Day and his birthday. Those are reserved for the wife. The mistresses are relegated to the day after those special holidays. Know your place and don't demand for the impossible.
Rule #3 Learn to save. You are priced for what pleasurable diversion you can provide. You are gifted with so many beautiful things ..... while you hold the attention of the man. Accept these gifts with gratitude but don't squander it away. Be wise and save for the day when he would cast you aside.
Rule #4 Don't nag. You are the mistress and not the wife. Let the wife worry about his eating habits and annoying behavior. You are there to provide heavenly pleasure to your man, so stick to the plan.
Rule #5 Read. He may find you very exciting as a sex partner. But that too will get boring. You need to be able to connect him in another way than just the bedroom. Update yourself regularly and he won't just have a relationship with your body, but with your mind as well.
Rule #6 Don't sleep with another man. Boys don't share toys. They hate it. It's a matter of principle. They'd rather get a new mistress than continue sharing a girl with someone else.
Rule #7 Don't create scandals. Mistresses are creatures of the dark. They don't exist in polite society. Stay that way. You would occasionally want to be heard and to be known. You want to be in your partner's side on that important event. But restrain yourself. Have the comfort in knowing you have his nights. Don't ask for the day as well or you might find yourself with having none.
Rule #8 Don't ever ever think you have the upper hand. Because you don't. Don't raise your voice when he fails to show up on your doorstep, or if he forgets your birthday. There are many ways to skin a cat. If he forgets an important date, merely poke on his guilt if you must, but don't scream or get into argument. Focus on the bigger prize: Him. You really don't want to lose him over some dates, right?
Rule #9 Don't patronize what the wife has. Don't go to the same hairdresser of his wife. Stop fixating yourself to the wife. She is not the "evil" one here. Let's not forget you are the one trespassing to a marriage. Keep a low profile. Stay humble. Because once the wife gets wind up on the affair, you are signing your death warrant.
Rule #10 Be creative in bed. Let's use what we learned in MBA: Utilize your competitive advantage. Let's face it, 90% of the reason of your existence is because the wife sucks in bed. This is your battleground. Use it to your advantage.
Rule #11 Men lie. Surprise? They tell you those horror stories about his wife. Take it with a grain of salt. They want to get you in bed, so they need to justify such actions. They promised you they would leave their wives. They won't. They hardly do. The more prominent and rich your boyfriend is, the higher the probability of him not leaving his wife. High society has certain protocols, and this is one of them. Don't believe me? Just look at our line of senators and congressmen. We can safely assume that most men there have mistresses. Count which ones left their wives for their mistresses. The more common story is that the wife leaves the politician-husband. Fact is men value their name in society. They can always get another mistress but they cannot restore their good reputation and the respect of their peers.
Rule #1 He will never leave his wife. So please, stop wishing and hoping that it will happen. If his wife dies, you also won't wish to be his wife because that means he will get another mistress to replace you. Prince Charles is a rarity and more of an exception than the rule.
Rule #2 You can forget about the special holidays like Christmas day, Valentine's Day and his birthday. Those are reserved for the wife. The mistresses are relegated to the day after those special holidays. Know your place and don't demand for the impossible.
Rule #3 Learn to save. You are priced for what pleasurable diversion you can provide. You are gifted with so many beautiful things ..... while you hold the attention of the man. Accept these gifts with gratitude but don't squander it away. Be wise and save for the day when he would cast you aside.
Rule #4 Don't nag. You are the mistress and not the wife. Let the wife worry about his eating habits and annoying behavior. You are there to provide heavenly pleasure to your man, so stick to the plan.
Rule #5 Read. He may find you very exciting as a sex partner. But that too will get boring. You need to be able to connect him in another way than just the bedroom. Update yourself regularly and he won't just have a relationship with your body, but with your mind as well.
Rule #6 Don't sleep with another man. Boys don't share toys. They hate it. It's a matter of principle. They'd rather get a new mistress than continue sharing a girl with someone else.
Rule #7 Don't create scandals. Mistresses are creatures of the dark. They don't exist in polite society. Stay that way. You would occasionally want to be heard and to be known. You want to be in your partner's side on that important event. But restrain yourself. Have the comfort in knowing you have his nights. Don't ask for the day as well or you might find yourself with having none.
Rule #8 Don't ever ever think you have the upper hand. Because you don't. Don't raise your voice when he fails to show up on your doorstep, or if he forgets your birthday. There are many ways to skin a cat. If he forgets an important date, merely poke on his guilt if you must, but don't scream or get into argument. Focus on the bigger prize: Him. You really don't want to lose him over some dates, right?
Rule #9 Don't patronize what the wife has. Don't go to the same hairdresser of his wife. Stop fixating yourself to the wife. She is not the "evil" one here. Let's not forget you are the one trespassing to a marriage. Keep a low profile. Stay humble. Because once the wife gets wind up on the affair, you are signing your death warrant.
Rule #10 Be creative in bed. Let's use what we learned in MBA: Utilize your competitive advantage. Let's face it, 90% of the reason of your existence is because the wife sucks in bed. This is your battleground. Use it to your advantage.
Rule #11 Men lie. Surprise? They tell you those horror stories about his wife. Take it with a grain of salt. They want to get you in bed, so they need to justify such actions. They promised you they would leave their wives. They won't. They hardly do. The more prominent and rich your boyfriend is, the higher the probability of him not leaving his wife. High society has certain protocols, and this is one of them. Don't believe me? Just look at our line of senators and congressmen. We can safely assume that most men there have mistresses. Count which ones left their wives for their mistresses. The more common story is that the wife leaves the politician-husband. Fact is men value their name in society. They can always get another mistress but they cannot restore their good reputation and the respect of their peers.
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