Like the St. Mary Mead of Miss Marple (author: Agatha Christie), Binondo is such a close and small community that everyone just knows everyone's life story. And yet, one would be surprised at the extent of the complexities of human psychology that is displayed in such a small community. I grew up in this place and have been privy to some of the sordid details of their lives. Sometimes, it is a great advantage to be a child, because no one really notices you and yet you notice everyone around you.
My ancestral home is a building with three floors. The third floor is a flat that is available for rent. One day, I was introduced to the new tenant named Carmen. She is so fair and so intelligent. She graduated summa cum laude and was a placer in CPA. She is unmarried and yet I noticed a young Chinese man who visits her place every so often. He is Ping, who lives a few houses from us. He is like a Chinese actor in a Taiwanese soap opera. He is very handsome and charming, the kind of man you dream about. After much coaxing from the elders, I learned that Ping is married and Carmen is his mistress. Carmen and Ping were high school sweethearts, but the mother of Ping refused Carmen as her daughter-in-law, so Ping married the girl of his mother's choice while continuing to have an affair with Carmen.
Carmen loved Ping very much. She acted like his wife and catered to his every whim. But in my young mind, I remember feeling she was way too fixated on her hatred towards the wife, calling her names and cursed her to eternity. I didn't understand why she would hate the wife so much, when in fact, Carmen was the one "stealing" her husband. She tried everything to ensure Ping would love her above his wife , even resorting to black magic.
One day, I noticed Ping didn't visit Carmen for some time. I asked and Carmen said Ping was attending a seminar in HongKong. Coincidence that I have a scheduled vacation in HongKong with my mom as well. And in one of the malls, we bumped into Ping, with his hands around the shoulders of his very pregnant wife. He made a quick chat with my mother while I used that time to observe him. Over dinner, I told my mom "His wife is way way more beautiful than Carmen. And he seemed very much in love with his wife. Did you see how he put his arms around his wife, how possessive it looked? And when his hands were not around his wife's shoulders, its touching her somewhere. Plus, he has a softer look in him whenever it would fall on his wife. I really really think he loves his wife, more than he loves Carmen." Mom quickly hushed me and warned me not to ever ever reveal those observations to anyone , much more to Carmen. So, I kept my silence.
In the years to come, Ping got his wife pregnant five times, and Carmen grew more agitated each time.
Then one day, we heard the news that Ping's wife ran away with another man, taking all the money of the business with her plus her last child. Ping was so devastated that when I saw him, I hardly recognize him anymore. The last child was not his child; it was fathered by her boyfriend. Then it was revealed that all along his wife knew of the presence of Carmen, and how she hated Ping for keeping her even before their marriage began, which led to her plan of revenge towards him. Ping was shocked. Everyone was shocked because the face of the wife is so angelic, so beautiful, one cannot imagine her of any ill-doings.
On the other hand, Carmen was so elated with the news of the wife's departure from their nest. She expected Ping to make her his wife, or at the very least stay with her from now on. But that didn't happen. What happened next was actually the opposite. Ping visited her less and got more women on the side. One night, Carmen even tearfully confessed that sometimes, she felt Ping blamed her for his wife leaving him. Carmen got into depression until she decided to leave our place , and I never saw her again.
I continue to see Ping, but he was a changed man. He got very thin and he is not charming anymore. He hardly acknowledges my presence and he walks down the street with expressionless eyes like he cares nothing of the world now.
I never forgot this tale, because it made me realize something at a young age. Don't run after destiny. Maybe, at the start of Ping's marriage, he truly loved Carmen and meant for them to continue their romantic relationship. Carmen showed much loyalty to Ping by shedding off her dignity and accepted to become his mistress. But people change. He got married to another girl and lived with her. He fathered their children. Circumstances changed and it's easy enough to fall into the routine of husband and wife. At times, one needs to accept the circumstances and move on, and make the best of your own destiny. In my mind, Carmen just gave up too much , merely to hold on to Ping's love. She loved him more than she loved herself. It beholden Ping to reciprocate that love and that is so much pressure to any person. And when that person fails to love you forever, where do you start picking up the pieces.
My ancestral home is a building with three floors. The third floor is a flat that is available for rent. One day, I was introduced to the new tenant named Carmen. She is so fair and so intelligent. She graduated summa cum laude and was a placer in CPA. She is unmarried and yet I noticed a young Chinese man who visits her place every so often. He is Ping, who lives a few houses from us. He is like a Chinese actor in a Taiwanese soap opera. He is very handsome and charming, the kind of man you dream about. After much coaxing from the elders, I learned that Ping is married and Carmen is his mistress. Carmen and Ping were high school sweethearts, but the mother of Ping refused Carmen as her daughter-in-law, so Ping married the girl of his mother's choice while continuing to have an affair with Carmen.
Carmen loved Ping very much. She acted like his wife and catered to his every whim. But in my young mind, I remember feeling she was way too fixated on her hatred towards the wife, calling her names and cursed her to eternity. I didn't understand why she would hate the wife so much, when in fact, Carmen was the one "stealing" her husband. She tried everything to ensure Ping would love her above his wife , even resorting to black magic.
One day, I noticed Ping didn't visit Carmen for some time. I asked and Carmen said Ping was attending a seminar in HongKong. Coincidence that I have a scheduled vacation in HongKong with my mom as well. And in one of the malls, we bumped into Ping, with his hands around the shoulders of his very pregnant wife. He made a quick chat with my mother while I used that time to observe him. Over dinner, I told my mom "His wife is way way more beautiful than Carmen. And he seemed very much in love with his wife. Did you see how he put his arms around his wife, how possessive it looked? And when his hands were not around his wife's shoulders, its touching her somewhere. Plus, he has a softer look in him whenever it would fall on his wife. I really really think he loves his wife, more than he loves Carmen." Mom quickly hushed me and warned me not to ever ever reveal those observations to anyone , much more to Carmen. So, I kept my silence.
In the years to come, Ping got his wife pregnant five times, and Carmen grew more agitated each time.
Then one day, we heard the news that Ping's wife ran away with another man, taking all the money of the business with her plus her last child. Ping was so devastated that when I saw him, I hardly recognize him anymore. The last child was not his child; it was fathered by her boyfriend. Then it was revealed that all along his wife knew of the presence of Carmen, and how she hated Ping for keeping her even before their marriage began, which led to her plan of revenge towards him. Ping was shocked. Everyone was shocked because the face of the wife is so angelic, so beautiful, one cannot imagine her of any ill-doings.
On the other hand, Carmen was so elated with the news of the wife's departure from their nest. She expected Ping to make her his wife, or at the very least stay with her from now on. But that didn't happen. What happened next was actually the opposite. Ping visited her less and got more women on the side. One night, Carmen even tearfully confessed that sometimes, she felt Ping blamed her for his wife leaving him. Carmen got into depression until she decided to leave our place , and I never saw her again.
I continue to see Ping, but he was a changed man. He got very thin and he is not charming anymore. He hardly acknowledges my presence and he walks down the street with expressionless eyes like he cares nothing of the world now.
I never forgot this tale, because it made me realize something at a young age. Don't run after destiny. Maybe, at the start of Ping's marriage, he truly loved Carmen and meant for them to continue their romantic relationship. Carmen showed much loyalty to Ping by shedding off her dignity and accepted to become his mistress. But people change. He got married to another girl and lived with her. He fathered their children. Circumstances changed and it's easy enough to fall into the routine of husband and wife. At times, one needs to accept the circumstances and move on, and make the best of your own destiny. In my mind, Carmen just gave up too much , merely to hold on to Ping's love. She loved him more than she loved herself. It beholden Ping to reciprocate that love and that is so much pressure to any person. And when that person fails to love you forever, where do you start picking up the pieces.
I like reading stories like these, I know its depressing and all but life ain't all about a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow and something to that effect. It also has its dark side and the ironies that goes with it... you simply take it as it is.
ReplyDeleteWe are all students of life. And the first step to education is looking at reality with clear eyes, having all the facts at your lap. Stories like these make me pause and bury it in my brain. Then years after, you gain a new perspective because you are older and (usually) you are wiser too. So you see the old story with new eyes and with new understanding.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I like to share stories like these. So people will learn from them. You don't really need to experience everything to learn about life.